Fatty Got Back….and boobs…and thighs

Yes, I know this will upset some. Tough shit! No-one is forcing you to read it. And if they are somehow, use your safe word and walk away!

My fiancee hates when I refer to myself as fat. He gets upset and says, “Baby, you are THICK”. But whatever term you want to use, us BIGGER folks aren’t daft….we are aware of reality. We are fat!! And its ok to embrace that self awareness.

So, I’m not going to be politically correct here….am I ever?! If you are offended by the term ‘fatty’ then you aren’t ready for this article anyhow. If you choose to read on and get offended, please don’t come crying to me! I will just hand you a mirror and a cookie and wait for you to mature.

I’ve often said there are two societal prejudices that are too often exercised and accepted….fat shaming and ridiculing the LGBTQ community. Its a sad proof that for all the societal evolution that is proclaimed, we as humans have a long ass way to go!

In the interest of time and sanity, I will only touch on one of those today. Because God knows folks would implode if I tried to discuss the LGBTQ who happen to be fat.

Let me start by saying, I’m a proud fat girl. I didn’t always meet both those criteria. I began as this:

But that’s neither here nor there. Life, kids, and chronic illness can change shit real quick! And often we arent emotionally all we thought ourself to be when that occurs. Honey you better be strong when society turns on you.

Not saying I’m a giant she-beast that small kids run from and news crews follow in case I eat a village. For those who do not know me, this is me currently:

The above photo was taken in May 2014 with the only thing that REALLY matters in the grand scheme of things: my beautiful family.

What that photo doesn’t tell you, nor does seeing me in public, is that I’m the survivor of a piece of shit relative who repeatedly molested me as a child, I’m the survivor of years of drugs and alcohol abuse to numb the demons of my childhood, I’m the product of surviving years of two addict parents, I’m the lucky girl who won, in the carnival game of life, a chronic illness that is, more days than not, physically debilitating….

You see, my photos or seeing me in public, do not tell you my life story, my struggles, or my victories.  But that judgement abounds…and not only by strangers! Sadly, we’ve all experienced it.

Now, let me stress, I am in no way saying” skinny girls” are unattractive or somehow ‘less than’ heavier girls. I’ve seen dear friends get super offensive anytime a statement is made or meme created that are ‘pro-fatty’. This article isn’t to slight them in any manner! It’s sole purpose is to pry into the inner thoughts of a proud fat girl, share some of my experiences and explain why those cutesy memes/graphics exist. Stick with me here!

I’ve actually laughed at those who are angered by LGBTQ pride events. The whole, “Why do THEY need a special day? Where’s’ straight pride’ day?” Uhhh….really?! Straight pride is every day, on every avenue, in every city! The world, sadly is its OWN ‘Straight Pride’ while LGBTQ populace must scratch and claw and fight for base line human equality!!

‘Fatty Pride’ is the same damn way. Don’t believe me? Let’s just look at a few things:

* Common misconception-  ‘Oh, you’re FAT so you must be riddled with health problems!’

* When you are fat and you deign to enter a grocery store, placing anything other than’ healthy foods’ in your buggy will get you looks of disgust as if you are strolling thru the aisle, pushing a cart of horse manure while singing racist melodies. Don’t dare put one Twinkie in that buggy or you will get glared at as though you’ve called Mother Teresa a dirty whore in front of the pope.

* If you are fat you must NOT have an interest in fashion!! Or so the designers think. You get to shop at’ specialty stores’ where you pay 3x as much for clothes that are shapeless tents. Designed by folks who think all fat chicks are 6 foot 8 and desire fabrics that resemble our grandmother’s 1950s floral couch.

* How many’ comedians’ rely on jokes about skinny folks while on stage?!

* Wanna travel by plane? If you are fat you get to buy an extra ticket for the ghost you apparently are taking on vacation.

* Are you fat? Yay! You get higher insurance rates!

* Try to find the amusement park for fatties. Yep, doesn’t exist!

* When you see a hot guy or girl with a skinny stereotype, do you stop and go, ‘Wow!!! What the he’ll is he/She doing with THEM?!’ Didn’t think so.

* If you hook up with a fatty, you get the honor of folks questioning your sanity, penis size, or social status….because you know, that fatty must be a consolation prize!

Society, as a whole, doesn’t care how they make heavier people feel. Much less, heavier kids! How often do our kids see examples of beautiful, full-figured women? Handsome heavier men?!  This is what we impress upon our children:

So how does that translate as they grow up?!

The above is a woman who has had numerous surgeries to try to be a living Barbie doll. Wtf?!

Any Barbie that is’ full fugured’ is only created online as a mockery. Yes, that’s positive for our future generations:

Where’s the happy medium? Where’s the imagery for our kids that beauty comes in ALL packages?! What the hell is wrong with creating this imagery?

We are not teaching our children that true beauty comes in all sizes. That it is NORMAL to love someone of any shape….and WE have to learn, my fellow fatties, that it is okay to be loved!!!!

Trust me, I’ve had my share of partners, hell even of friends and family, who fed that insecure fat girl deep in my psyche. I have heard horrid things from folks who supposedly loved me. It is no big shocker that when my fiancee came along 5 years ago, I took his compliments with a grain of salt. He was just another person, in my mind, who would build me up and then knock me down….leaving me more damaged than before.

Let me share a few tidbits:

The person who contributed genetic matter to my youngest son, and wasn’t himself rocking a six pack that didn’t feature twist off caps, actually said to me: “I’m going to buy you a’ normal sized’ wedding gown and hang it in front of a treadmill. You can look at it every day while you run! And when it fits you I will marry you.”

You can’t make this shit up. Lol. Needless to say, I miraculously lost 200 unneeded pounds by putting him out when I was 4 months pregnant and didn’t look back.

Numerous times on social media, I’ve heard, ‘You’re really pretty….for a big girl’.

Hmmmm, no honey, I’m beautiful….period! But you have such a big mouth for someone with such a tiny brain…doesn’t flood me with hope for your penis size either!

My mother’s husband actually said to me, ‘You were so beautiful in high school. You could have had the world in your hands!’

If I had the world in my hands simply because I was a thin blonde who fit society’s ideal of beauty…..it wouldn’t be a world I’d care to hold!

I could go on and on with a list of the utter horse shit I’ve heard personally, but we’ve ALL heard it coming our way….and to continue to speak of them gives narrow minded asshats prominence  here and I make a practice of not doing that!

The reality is this folks…..before you can accept that there are indeed people in this world who will love you regardless of, and FOR, your shape/size…..you’ve gotta fall in love with your damn self, bitches!

Until then you will regard any compliment, gesture, or overture with suspicion.

Here’s the thing, so many fatties/bbws/thick girls think, ‘Oh those skinny bitches just have it made!!’ ‘They’re perfect….’ or ‘If I looked like HER, I’d get anything I want!’

Really?! Because even a thin, beautiful supermodel can easily point out every single flaw she imagines herself to have. Everyone, regardless of size or age, will have some aspect of their physical being that they’d gladly trade/change if given the chance!

The grass isn’t greener on the other side nor is the bikini wax less torturous on the skinny side of the salad bar!

Poll 100 women of varying sizes, ages, ethnicities, etc and you will get 100 answers that show, fat or skinny, every woman has some area of their body that they are self-conscious of! Skinny gals are not somehow ‘better’ than us fatties, nor we better than them!  You’ve gotta let that shit go and embrace other women just for being women….not on size…if you want to move forth!

Once you’ve realized that, then sit back and ask yourself exactly wht is preventing you from loving yourself. This shit sucks, trust me!! You may have to lay a ton of ugly out onto the table that you’ve shoved deep within and tried to ignore. You need to identify it, confront it, and exorcise that soul choking shit Linda Blair style!

When you’ve mopped up the pea-green soup of self loathing, hung the crucifix back up, and refreshed your lip gloss…its time to view the world around you!

Is our world truly accepting of fatties? No. But that isn’t news to you! Just use tht information differently now.

Don’t even work yourself up over those who don’t like/desire your sexy, curvy ass. Remember, this is a diverse world! How bland would our world be if we all came from the same damn mold?!

So what if some like the tiny, compact look of a Prius?? There are plenty who love the big, bold curves of a 1948 Plymouth Belvedere!!

Diversity baby! Don’t attack those who are drawn to thinner girls. Just remember, we all have tastes and preferences. If not this world would be dull!

So, you’re free from self loathing…..go have fun!! Discover and explore your beautifully rounded body. Find which attributes you like best about YOU! And then play those babies up! For myself, I have many! But to keep this pg-13, I will just share a few. Lol

I love my eyes, my lips, and…well…my boobs! No shame in my game! I gladly play them up when we go out.

Don’t let society dictate what is right or wrong for your body! Take pride in looking, and FEELING, hot. Put on that corset. Or those high high boots….and hit the town! Regardless of what you wear the best accessory is going to be your elected self-esteem. Own that shit!

If you are still struggling to find your footing and choke out that negative bitch taking up residence in your head, here are a few starting points:

* All humans, regardless of weight, have low points….where self doubt threatens us. This isn’t a weight issue….its a human issue.

* Live life!! Regardless of if you are single & searching or committed & content, live the life you have! Get off your ass and go have fun!

* When you feel fat/ugly/blah, don’t give in! Get up, shower, do your hair and makeup, throw on your favorite outfit, and go OUT!! I don’t care where you go, just go! I promise even just one appreciative smile sent your direction will improve your mood.

* Don’t lower your standards! You’re worth the best so don’t settle. That’s the old, negative mentality that kept you in the bondage of insecurity for too damn long!

* Don’t settle for just being someone’s fetish/kink. Yes, all of us fatties know about the ‘fat fetish’. And while that’s good and fine, don’t be just the fulfillment of that for someone. Ensure they want the entire package and not just the fat. I mean, some are into cucumbers but you arent painting yourself green and slapping a produce sticker on your ass are you?!

* Schedule a photo session with a local photographer who is experienced in shooting BBWs. We see ourself a certain, critical way…but you may be pleasantly surprised by the way the photographer captures you!!!

* And lastly, don’t get into the’ tomorrow’ or’ later’ mentality. Do that shit TODAY!! LATER is just a lie we create so as to not be proactive, merely because we’ve trained ourself to expect disappointment and failure.

So get out there, fatties! Embrace life and live it at full volume with zero apologies, zero doubt, and no energy expelled upon the haters and nay-sayers…..because baby, You are beautiful!!