Straight….to the heart

I wasn’t going to write this post. I wasn’t going to wade into the rocky waters of this subject. In fact, I’ve been putting the final touches on a much different topic. And then…. bigotry happened and that psychotic She Beast in my brain began shoving me aside to access the writer costume.


My household is, as a whole, staunch supporters for true LGBTQ equality. We embrace wholeheartedly this fight and will never apologize if that passion offends others. Sure, it means we go toe to toe at times with friends or family who fight on the other side of this topic. But such is life with humans.

Tonight I shared this image on Facebook: image Allow me to preface this writing by saying that I will not lay forth my religious or political views here. They are irrelevant and neither support or negate the points made. A friend of more than a decade, who couldn’t be further down the spectrum of the equality fight than I am, left a comment that goaded me into rebuttal mode. He said, “I’m so sick of hearing gay pride this, and happy homo  that, and  religious garbage. How about We have a straight pride…”


Arghhh I really didn’t want to tackle this one tonight. I spent the better part of my afternoon/evening in the hospital receiving iv narcotics. Feeling just a bit too groggy for debating but Damnit this one hit too close to home! As I said, its a familial issue for my household. image The photo  above is my fiancee, taken at Atlanta gay pride in 2011. The parade is pretty much our favorite holiday of the year. So much love and acceptance overflowing the streets of Atlanta, Georgia. That photo was taken immediately before an altercation, verbally, between the idiots of Westboro and attendees of Pride.

Westboro was in place, behind a police line, their vile hatred echoing off of the high rise buildings of downtown Atlanta. After a stomach turning length of time of these people barking their ignorant bigotry through a pa system, a group of attendees moved to stand between them and other folks awaiting the start of the parade. As the attendees began to sing’ Jesus Loves Me’ louder and louder in attempts to drown out the hate being shouted one of these hate mongers crossed the proverbial line with me. image He singled out one of our chosen family members, Dixon. Who is an ordained minister. Who just happens to be a lesbian. That is Dixon pictured above with my fiancee. It was truly like a movie. Somehow above the roar of competing voices I heard it, “You see this lady in the ministers collar? She’s going to hell…and she’s dragging all of you with her!”

He spewed some other derogatory rhetoric, ensuring to single her out. I saw red and wanted to strangle this 500 pound idiot. I flew over to the gaggle of Westboro mental midgets and was prepared to cross the police line…but an Atlanta police officer stopped me. He rambled about THEIR freedom of speech.


I remained on my side of the line and lit into this fool. He popped off about how I couldn’t be a Christian and be there celebrating with’ the sinners’. I reminded him what HIS Jesus said about judging and loving your neighbors. He responded with a line about how pride is one of the seven deadly sins….and I quickly looked his 500 pound frame up and down and said one word, GLUTTONY. As it began to be more heated Dixon’s wife proved the power of silent protest: image She quietly made her way down from the corner we had set up chairs on for the parade, entered the street, walked up to Dixon, grabbed the pole of the pride flag that Dixon held, and without a word she kissed her wife. I was lucky enough to capture the moment in film…but the photo doesn’t give the viewer a sense of the cheer that erupted in the crowd as a sea of people began to yell and clap. With that beautiful point made, we dispersed….leaving the idiots to entertain themself…and returned to our spot for the parade. image This is only one example of the beating we see ftom those who hide behind their religion to justify bigotry. And that bigotry isn’t just aimed at LGBTQ individuals……but for the sake of this writing, that’s what I’m going to focus on.

Now, we all know that so many hiding behind their bible love to cherry pick what parts can be twisted to fit their bigotry fueled agenda. And we’ve seen how many want to run to Levitical law to denounce homosexuality. But do you realize Levitical law bans SEVENTY SIX practices?!

Despite what some of these folks want to believe, Leviticus isn’t a one paragraph book that only spotlights homosexuality. I guaran-damn-tee we are all hell bound when it comes to Levitical law!

* Eating fat. The eating of fat was a punishable crime as fat was to be used as an offering to God. Better put down those Twinkies and those fried foods!

* Eating an animal that doesn’t both chew cud and has a divided hoof. Go ahead and toss out that bacon!

* Touching the carcass of any of the above. Damn, I really hope you dont play football!

* Mixing fabrics in clothing. You better go check your closet! Go on….I’ll just be sitting here eating the bacon you cant have since we know you wouldnt want to be a hypocrite.The tags confirmed the blended fabrics?! Aww well perhaps burlap sacks will be the next little black dress?!

* Trimming your beard. Cutting your head at the sides. Hmmm we should see solo many more Cousin It’s walking around!

* Mistreating foreigners. Yeah, your Facebook posts speak volumes!


The list is lengthy but puts the cherry pickers into a lovely position. And usually when you use their bible to debate their bigotry they get defensive. They oft will not budge so I toss out, “Are you Jewish?

“No. I am a proud Christian!”

“Ahhh but you failed to grasp that your Jesus’ death negated old testament law. Therefore, if you are a Christian, old testament and Levitical law do not govern you!” “I follow Jesus and Jesus said…” This is when I cut them off. This is when you remind them exactly what their Jesus said: “Love the Lord your God, with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and the greatest commandment. The second is like it. Love your neighbor as yourself. All the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments.” Inevitably they will call up a verse within the new testament that speaks of homosexuality. Only to be reminded, Jesus NEVER spoke on homosexuality. Paul did….but not Jesus! So your Bible argument is invalid! Thank you, and piss off. image

Look, this isnt a “gay marriage” issue. This isnt a “gay pride” issue. This is a HUMANITY issue! This fight is no different than the battle for gender equality that ensued so women could stop being viewed as baby making slaves. It is no different than the battle to stop allowing skin color to divide and determine basic human rights.


Comments from folks regarding the lack of a “Straight pride” event drive me bat shit crazy. Where is this “Straing Pride”? Its every damn day. In every city. On every street!


Its in the freedom to walk hand in hand down the street with your partner without fear that some bigoted asshat will attack you.


Its in the freedom from fear in being able to parent children with your partner without worry a backwoods judge will revoke your parental rights.


Its in the freedom as a teenager to tell your parents about your first love without fear of being thrown out on the streets.


Its in the freedom of not being told you will roast in hell simply for being who you were born to be.


Its in the freedom of being able to walk into any court in any state and get the document that allows you to legally join lives with your partner.

Its in not having the fear that you could lose your job if your boss/coworkers find out you are gay.

It is in the freedom of not worrying that if your partner becomes critically ill or dies, you will be shut out of decisions and memorials by their homophobic family.


The saddest issue I have to see is our youth who are thrown out like yesterdays garbage because their parents fail them. Having a gay child doesnt mean youve failed your children…..being incapable of accepting your child as they were created is failing your children!

Those same parents who desired to have a child…who showed off ultrasound photos…excitedly pieced together a nursery…passed out bubble gum cigars in hues of pink or blue….read bedtime stories and whispered nightly prayers with their child(ren) then turn on the viciously when their child summons the courage to voice the reality of their orientation. That same child you longed for, you now discard without a care.

The child isnt broken or flawed, YOU ARE! They arent the abomination of God… are! You hide behind your religious dogma but lets peel your facade away. Plain and simple, you are a boil on the ass of humanity.

You cling to your god, the same god you claim made mankind in his image….yet apparently the only aspects of his “image” you find to be palatable are the “hetero” aspects. That must thrill your god. That his faithful followers pick and choose from his creation what is deemed ‘right’ and would shit on their children rather than truly love them.

Yes Im sure I am coming across as harsh and bitter but allow me to explain! We are fortunate enough to be affiliated with an amazing organization in Atlanta. Lost-n-Found Youth.

LnF is the only organization in our big city that is working to get our homeless LGBTQ youth off the streets, into a safe housing envirinment, secure jobs, get needed medical attention, and phase them into their own places of residency.

This group operates solely on volunteerism and donations. And in its brief time has seriously made an impact! But if you dont understand the depth of the homeless LGBTQ youth crisis, you wont grasp the extent of this issue of parents throwing their kids out onto the dangerous streets!

40% of homeless youth are LGBTQ. In comparison, the general youth population is only 10% LGBTQ.

LGBTQ youth, once homeless, are at a higher risk for victimization, mental health issues, and unsafe sexual practices. 58.7% of homeless LGBTQ youth have been sexually victimized, compared to 35.4% of heterosexual homeless youth.

LGBTQ homeless youth xommit suicide at higher rates (62.7%) than heterosexual homeless youth (29%).

If you want more information on the crisis of our homeless LGBTQ youth, please visit large-1

Look, we cant cure the plague of bigotry in one fell swoop, unfortunately…..but we can start by changing one heart at a time…our own!

Our kids are being tormented at every turn…and guess what.. this bully, bigoted bs begins at home! Prejudice is taught. It is not a natural occurance. Your children listen and observe…and then put that negativity back out into the universe! So take stock of your own heart. Would you want your prejudices, your bigotry, your pure hatred to be directed at your child?! Because ultimately, all of that hate is poisoning SOMEONES child!



Fat Girl Floating…

Im sharing something I wrote four years ago about a family adventure. At the time my boys were 12, 8, and 4. No fat girls were permanently harmed in the making of this horror story!


Being the ever helpful girl that I am, I am posting this public service announcement here for the bigger folks.


For those here in Georgia who might wake up one day and think, “Gee….this would be a great day to pack up my family and head to the mountains for tubing down the river”….Don’t!!


In July of 2010, Miah and I had just that thought. So, we woke up and got the kids dressed in their swimsuits, loaded the cooler with food and drinks, piled into the car, and took off to the beautiful North Georgia mountains for a relaxing, family binding outting on the Chattahoochee River.

We arrive in the picturesque village and go right to the tubing company. Entering the building, we opt for the” all day” passes versus the pass to only make one run down the river. Something told me to also get the” push sticks” they sell so you can” easily” push yourself if you get stuck on rocks or whatnot.

Heading out to get our tubes, get required life vests for the kids, and to slither them with sunscreen, we are excited to start this lazy day of drifting downstream.

We board the shuttle that transports the tubers to the drop zones. The bus is packed with tubers and its suffocatingly hot…but noones raining on our adventure! The driver asks if we want the 1 hour, short run or the 2 hour, long run.

“The two hour, of course” we reply.

We are taken to the drop zone and we begin taking photos with our nifty waterproof cameras and gearing up for the fun.


Now, let me pause to say…I am deathly afraid of snakes. I hate the bastards! Doesnt matter wht size or type I do not like them, Sam I am. And the North Ga mountains are well known to have too damn many rattlesnakes, copperheads, cotton mouths, etc.

So, like any good mother, Id warned my kids that if we saw a snake they were on their own because Id look like a fat Jesus, running ON water to get the hell away from it. Little did I know that with the nightmare our adventure would become, I wouldnt have noticed if a damn ball of mating snakes came rolling down the river and landed on me!!

First obstacle, how do we secure the five floats together so we can all lazily float down the river?? We use the tethers Miah grabbed at the tubing company and lash the floats into one big clusterfuck of fun. Then we all climb aboard, ready to set sail.

Nothing……we don’t move one tiny millimeter. The water is just above ankle deep….so we start the butt scooting, wiggling, clawing at the riverbed with our fingers attempts to get moving………still. …..nothing.

We climb off the floats, decide to tether the youngest kid to me, tether the two older boys together, and Miahs flying solo. We all get situated and we’re off…

For about a hundred yards…then my oldest, Isaiah, flips his tube. He decides he’s dying and is flailing in the water, screaming, splashing, yelling to be saved. His push stick floats away. Passing tubers are rubbernecking. A scary hillbilly is on his porch, overlooking the river, he is half cackling at the spectacle and half hacking on the joint he was smoking.

I shake my head and yell to Isaiah, “Hey silly ass…..STAND UP….you’re in knee deep water….you’re fine!” Issue resolved, right?!

No! When his weight lifted from his tube, his scrawny younger brother, Jeremiah, who was lashed to Isaiah, shoots off downstream like he has Nos powering his ass. He’s screaming for help now. Miah dives off his tube, fights the currents, and catches Jeremiah.

Meanwhile, Isaiah is standing in that knee deep water he ‘almost died’ in, screaming that he is done and wants out…I point out the only way out is at the end of the tube route.

So, the river is ankle to shin deep in most parts, and rocky as hell. Fat girls make a tube do one thing……find every damn rock formation there is in the river and get stuck on those rocks!



By now, the youngest son, Jonathan, is getting pissed. He came out here to float by God! Not to sit idle while mom is flailing to release the emergency brake her ass has become, locking them up on every frickin rock! Thus begins an arduous process: get stuck, get unstuck, float a few yards…get stuck again.

Now, Mother Nature could be nice and ease up on the fat girl. Let that annoyance be humiliation enough…but no. Ma Nature is an asshole!

Oh no, we have to up the ante on humiliation. Lets take the fat girl, have the rapids turn her tube backwards so she is staring upstream and floating downstream. Then, just to be cute, let’s have spots where there are rock formations and the currents rushing over them like waterfalls. Then….let’s have the backwards facing chubby bitch get stuck on these rocks….balancing precariously, BACKWARDS, tilted over the rocks.

Oh and because she’s fat and gravity is an asshole, too……now she resembles a damn turtle. Flipped onto its back! You know, arms and legs flailing around…wiggling, thrashing, anything to just get free!! Praying like hell to its tiny turtle God tht some merciful soul will upright it!

Got the visual?? Now play it on a repeating loop….add in Miah who is continually hopping off his float to dislodged one of our stuck asses.

We fought our way down the river in this manner for what I’m sure was one second shy of eternity. At one point I scrambled, with no grace, off my tube to free Jonathan and I from yet another rock bully. My foot slipped between two large, jagged rocks on the riverbed. The water, while shallow, was moving pretty strongly. I’m clinging to our tubes to keep Jonathan from flying off and attempting to dislodge my foot and shoe from the rocks….in the process gouging a big cut into my ankle.

Eventually, we hit the halfway point, ironically the same spot I put my dad’s ashes years before. I am done. I want off this bullshit ride! I cannot believe I’m paying for this abuse! But more than that, dear Lord, I need a cigarette. But they are all back in that damn rented locker.

Miah and I are considering calling this adventure quits and catching the shuttle back to the tubing company….this halfway point is the drop zone for that “short” 1 hour run.

But the kids pitch a bitch. They want to finish the run…..because they are actually relaxing and enjoying this shit! So, we relent and drag our exhausted asses back onto the tubes from hell.

Now, the second half of the run is slightly easier. The water is deeper and the current pretty strong but there’s still some stuckage going on.

Then Jonathan loses his push stick. I jump off the tube to grab it and somehow get tangled in the damn straps. My thigh is caught in the tether….trapping me between the two floats. The current is strong and pushing me downstream on one foot! I’m clinging to our tubes, mine is trying to flip over my head….Jonathan is crying out to any available diety to rescue him.

Miah once again fights the river to get to me. He untangles the tether and frees me. Some kind person caught the push stick and gave it back to Jonathan. I’m exhausted, shit hurts on my body that I didn’t know existed. And I’m one rock encounter away from taking one of those damn push sticks and playing pinata with anyone who comes with striking range!


We are now starting to near the town of Helen. Fighting our way through tube gridlock that makes Atanta rush hour traffic pale in comparison.

From The patio of a restaurant that juts out over the river, people are sipping margaritas and beer….and shouting down to the victims of the river.

“That sure looks relaxing” – Yeah…relax THIS, bitch.

“How’s the water?” – how’s my foot going to feel when I put it up your ass?!


I’m so over it all at this point! We cross under the bridge that intersects the town shops from the hotels..oh sweet mother of monkeys, I can see the tubing company!! We’ve lived thru this hell!

Of course right at the ramp you exit the river on, the water is deep as hell and the current really strong. We struggle towards it, all three kids in tow. And with great effort, looking like angry swamp beasts, we crawl up the ramp and out of the river.


They have teens working the ramp to collect your tube, gather life vests, etc. There’s a reason for this. Adults know they are putting their life at risk by smiling at tired, sore adults fleeing the river hades.

These kids….looked at us with big dopey grins, “Did you have fun?”

I growled something about ripping their spines out and flogging them with their own spine as we trudged up the ramp and to our car. Simultaneously we spot the clock on the outside of the tubing company building.

“Are you frickin kidding me!?” We both groan. Our two hour run, in reality, took us FOUR HOURS!!

We start the two hour journey home, amid the kids complaining that we had the” all day” river pass but only went down the river one time.


I am woman enough to admit it was only because I was too damn tired and battered to pull my car over that my kids came home with us rather than being thrown out of the car and left to become cave hobbits in the woods!



Fatty Got Back….and boobs…and thighs

Yes, I know this will upset some. Tough shit! No-one is forcing you to read it. And if they are somehow, use your safe word and walk away!


My fiancee hates when I refer to myself as fat. He gets upset and says, “Baby, you are THICK”. But whatever term you want to use, us BIGGER folks aren’t daft….we are aware of reality. We are fat!! And its ok to embrace that self awareness.

So, I’m not going to be politically correct here….am I ever?! If you are offended by the term ‘fatty’ then you aren’t ready for this article anyhow. If you choose to read on and get offended, please don’t come crying to me! I will just hand you a mirror and a cookie and wait for you to mature.

I’ve often said there are two societal prejudices that are too often exercised and accepted….fat shaming and ridiculing the LGBTQ community. Its a sad proof that for all the societal evolution that is proclaimed, we as humans have a long ass way to go!

In the interest of time and sanity, I will only touch on one of those today. Because God knows folks would implode if I tried to discuss the LGBTQ who happen to be fat.

Let me start by saying, I’m a proud fat girl. I didn’t always meet both those criteria. I began as this:


But that’s neither here nor there. Life, kids, and chronic illness can change shit real quick! And often we arent emotionally all we thought ourself to be when that occurs. Honey you better be strong when society turns on you.

Not saying I’m a giant she-beast that small kids run from and news crews follow in case I eat a village. For those who do not know me, this is me currently:


The above photo was taken in May 2014 with the only thing that REALLY matters in the grand scheme of things: my beautiful family.

What that photo doesn’t tell you, nor does seeing me in public, is that I’m the survivor of a piece of shit relative who repeatedly molested me as a child, I’m the survivor of years of drugs and alcohol abuse to numb the demons of my childhood, I’m the product of surviving years of two addict parents, I’m the lucky girl who won, in the carnival game of life, a chronic illness that is, more days than not, physically debilitating….

You see, my photos or seeing me in public, do not tell you my life story, my struggles, or my victories.  But that judgement abounds…and not only by strangers! Sadly, we’ve all experienced it.




Now, let me stress, I am in no way saying” skinny girls” are unattractive or somehow ‘less than’ heavier girls. I’ve seen dear friends get super offensive anytime a statement is made or meme created that are ‘pro-fatty’. This article isn’t to slight them in any manner! It’s sole purpose is to pry into the inner thoughts of a proud fat girl, share some of my experiences and explain why those cutesy memes/graphics exist. Stick with me here!


I’ve actually laughed at those who are angered by LGBTQ pride events. The whole, “Why do THEY need a special day? Where’s’ straight pride’ day?” Uhhh….really?! Straight pride is every day, on every avenue, in every city! The world, sadly is its OWN ‘Straight Pride’ while LGBTQ populace must scratch and claw and fight for base line human equality!!

‘Fatty Pride’ is the same damn way. Don’t believe me? Let’s just look at a few things:

* Common misconception-  ‘Oh, you’re FAT so you must be riddled with health problems!’

* When you are fat and you deign to enter a grocery store, placing anything other than’ healthy foods’ in your buggy will get you looks of disgust as if you are strolling thru the aisle, pushing a cart of horse manure while singing racist melodies. Don’t dare put one Twinkie in that buggy or you will get glared at as though you’ve called Mother Teresa a dirty whore in front of the pope.

* If you are fat you must NOT have an interest in fashion!! Or so the designers think. You get to shop at’ specialty stores’ where you pay 3x as much for clothes that are shapeless tents. Designed by folks who think all fat chicks are 6 foot 8 and desire fabrics that resemble our grandmother’s 1950s floral couch.

* How many’ comedians’ rely on jokes about skinny folks while on stage?!

* Wanna travel by plane? If you are fat you get to buy an extra ticket for the ghost you apparently are taking on vacation.

* Are you fat? Yay! You get higher insurance rates!

* Try to find the amusement park for fatties. Yep, doesn’t exist!

* When you see a hot guy or girl with a skinny stereotype, do you stop and go, ‘Wow!!! What the he’ll is he/She doing with THEM?!’ Didn’t think so.

* If you hook up with a fatty, you get the honor of folks questioning your sanity, penis size, or social status….because you know, that fatty must be a consolation prize!

Society, as a whole, doesn’t care how they make heavier people feel. Much less, heavier kids! How often do our kids see examples of beautiful, full-figured women? Handsome heavier men?!  This is what we impress upon our children:


So how does that translate as they grow up?!



The above is a woman who has had numerous surgeries to try to be a living Barbie doll. Wtf?!

Any Barbie that is’ full fugured’ is only created online as a mockery. Yes, that’s positive for our future generations:



Where’s the happy medium? Where’s the imagery for our kids that beauty comes in ALL packages?! What the hell is wrong with creating this imagery?



We are not teaching our children that true beauty comes in all sizes. That it is NORMAL to love someone of any shape….and WE have to learn, my fellow fatties, that it is okay to be loved!!!!


Trust me, I’ve had my share of partners, hell even of friends and family, who fed that insecure fat girl deep in my psyche. I have heard horrid things from folks who supposedly loved me. It is no big shocker that when my fiancee came along 5 years ago, I took his compliments with a grain of salt. He was just another person, in my mind, who would build me up and then knock me down….leaving me more damaged than before.

Let me share a few tidbits:

The person who contributed genetic matter to my youngest son, and wasn’t himself rocking a six pack that didn’t feature twist off caps, actually said to me: “I’m going to buy you a’ normal sized’ wedding gown and hang it in front of a treadmill. You can look at it every day while you run! And when it fits you I will marry you.”

You can’t make this shit up. Lol. Needless to say, I miraculously lost 200 unneeded pounds by putting him out when I was 4 months pregnant and didn’t look back.

Numerous times on social media, I’ve heard, ‘You’re really pretty….for a big girl’.

Hmmmm, no honey, I’m beautiful….period! But you have such a big mouth for someone with such a tiny brain…doesn’t flood me with hope for your penis size either!

My mother’s husband actually said to me, ‘You were so beautiful in high school. You could have had the world in your hands!’

If I had the world in my hands simply because I was a thin blonde who fit society’s ideal of beauty… wouldn’t be a world I’d care to hold!


I could go on and on with a list of the utter horse shit I’ve heard personally, but we’ve ALL heard it coming our way….and to continue to speak of them gives narrow minded asshats prominence  here and I make a practice of not doing that!

The reality is this folks…..before you can accept that there are indeed people in this world who will love you regardless of, and FOR, your shape/size…’ve gotta fall in love with your damn self, bitches!

Until then you will regard any compliment, gesture, or overture with suspicion.


Here’s the thing, so many fatties/bbws/thick girls think, ‘Oh those skinny bitches just have it made!!’ ‘They’re perfect….’ or ‘If I looked like HER, I’d get anything I want!’

Really?! Because even a thin, beautiful supermodel can easily point out every single flaw she imagines herself to have. Everyone, regardless of size or age, will have some aspect of their physical being that they’d gladly trade/change if given the chance!

The grass isn’t greener on the other side nor is the bikini wax less torturous on the skinny side of the salad bar!

Poll 100 women of varying sizes, ages, ethnicities, etc and you will get 100 answers that show, fat or skinny, every woman has some area of their body that they are self-conscious of! Skinny gals are not somehow ‘better’ than us fatties, nor we better than them!  You’ve gotta let that shit go and embrace other women just for being women….not on size…if you want to move forth!


Once you’ve realized that, then sit back and ask yourself exactly wht is preventing you from loving yourself. This shit sucks, trust me!! You may have to lay a ton of ugly out onto the table that you’ve shoved deep within and tried to ignore. You need to identify it, confront it, and exorcise that soul choking shit Linda Blair style!

When you’ve mopped up the pea-green soup of self loathing, hung the crucifix back up, and refreshed your lip gloss…its time to view the world around you!

Is our world truly accepting of fatties? No. But that isn’t news to you! Just use tht information differently now.


Don’t even work yourself up over those who don’t like/desire your sexy, curvy ass. Remember, this is a diverse world! How bland would our world be if we all came from the same damn mold?!

So what if some like the tiny, compact look of a Prius?? There are plenty who love the big, bold curves of a 1948 Plymouth Belvedere!!


Diversity baby! Don’t attack those who are drawn to thinner girls. Just remember, we all have tastes and preferences. If not this world would be dull!

So, you’re free from self loathing…..go have fun!! Discover and explore your beautifully rounded body. Find which attributes you like best about YOU! And then play those babies up! For myself, I have many! But to keep this pg-13, I will just share a few. Lol



I love my eyes, my lips, and…well…my boobs! No shame in my game! I gladly play them up when we go out.


Don’t let society dictate what is right or wrong for your body! Take pride in looking, and FEELING, hot. Put on that corset. Or those high high boots….and hit the town! Regardless of what you wear the best accessory is going to be your elected self-esteem. Own that shit!


If you are still struggling to find your footing and choke out that negative bitch taking up residence in your head, here are a few starting points:

* All humans, regardless of weight, have low points….where self doubt threatens us. This isn’t a weight issue….its a human issue.

* Live life!! Regardless of if you are single & searching or committed & content, live the life you have! Get off your ass and go have fun!

* When you feel fat/ugly/blah, don’t give in! Get up, shower, do your hair and makeup, throw on your favorite outfit, and go OUT!! I don’t care where you go, just go! I promise even just one appreciative smile sent your direction will improve your mood.


* Don’t lower your standards! You’re worth the best so don’t settle. That’s the old, negative mentality that kept you in the bondage of insecurity for too damn long!

* Don’t settle for just being someone’s fetish/kink. Yes, all of us fatties know about the ‘fat fetish’. And while that’s good and fine, don’t be just the fulfillment of that for someone. Ensure they want the entire package and not just the fat. I mean, some are into cucumbers but you arent painting yourself green and slapping a produce sticker on your ass are you?!

* Schedule a photo session with a local photographer who is experienced in shooting BBWs. We see ourself a certain, critical way…but you may be pleasantly surprised by the way the photographer captures you!!!

* And lastly, don’t get into the’ tomorrow’ or’ later’ mentality. Do that shit TODAY!! LATER is just a lie we create so as to not be proactive, merely because we’ve trained ourself to expect disappointment and failure.

So get out there, fatties! Embrace life and live it at full volume with zero apologies, zero doubt, and no energy expelled upon the haters and nay-sayers…..because baby, You are beautiful!!


“Bitch, please!” Buddha

Allow me to introduce the newest resident of my psyche, “Bitch, please!”Buddha.


Yes, my brain is oft like J.J. Walker’s apartment building on Good Times…overflowing with a cast of colorful characters, an abundance of sarcasm, and the sporadic eruption of studio dubbed laughter & applause.

Tody I introduce the newest resident, “Bitch, please!” Buddha. Hereto after referred to as BPB.. Not to be confused with B.M.B.B., “Bowel Movement Bobby Brown. Also known as, ‘The Turd Whisper’…..flooding my cranial cavity with self-deprecating rhetoric.

Alas, I digress!

B.P.B. has undergone his hazing (All I know is it involved an order of onion rings from the Varsity, two paperclips, a Magnum condom, and a bottle rocket.), and is now a fully vested resident of Sarcastiphrenia….Aka my brain!

What purpose does” Bitch, please!!” Buddha serve on this planet? He is the deity who combats the ceaseless” Social Media Sages”….you know what I’m talking about! We all have them on our lists!

These” Social Media Sages” are those who try to spill profound rhetoric all over the halls of social media. They have the divine beattitudes that they are convinced must have been showered down upon them because they are just so spiritually evolved and enlightened by their sanctified journey thru this dark world……

Yet, you know them You know they are as nutty as Larry the Cable Guy’s turds after a fifty gallon vat of hot boiled peanuts. They are the ones that make you aware of the fact dogs MUST be more intelligent than humans because a dog would have sensed this creature was too screwed up at birth and eaten that fool upon birth.

Generally one can spot these Sage’s by their hypocrisy riddled posts.

“Oh, I only allow non-GMO, cruelty free, organic food to cross my lips! In fact, my salad is so pure, Jesus himself shat it out of his undefiled ass…”


Yeah…..until you are spotted hauling a bucket of KFC,  taco box from Taco Bell, and a bag of Big Macs from your car to your kitchen.


And we’ve all seen those Sage’s who live like the Devil 6 days a week and then spend their Sabbath plastering social media with memes, quotes, scriptures, etc. They re usually the ones spouting off on how homosexuality is of the Devil and the Bible says it’s wrong…..

Ummm, ok sweethearts but let’s talk about allllll that other shit your Bible condemns, yet you are the poster child for!!


If you just HAVE to pray for my soul, here’s a suggestion:


And we cannot leave out…..THOSE fools. The ones who try to come across as humble, yet constantly want to talk up any and every action that could possibly redeem them in the world’s eyes…..


“Bitch, please!!” Buddha would like me to remind humanity, if you have to repeatedly TELL the world just how fabulous you are……then you aren’t!

Don’t be that person who calls another female a ho! Not when your six children receive child support checks from six different daddies! Nobody forgot THAT tidbit but you!

Don’t be that fool spouting off about how you hate drama, yet you feature more of it than a Real Housewives marathon.

Hypocrisy is an ugly thing!! We are all guilty of it at times, but when that shit is your first, most fluent language, you need to take action!!

If you do not, then be forewarned that” Bitch, please!!” Buddha will be watching, waiting……And Ohhhh doesn’t B.P.B. offer out some life changing tidbits!